Dear Black Women, Take Off The Cape And Take Care

In a world where Black women are disregarded and disrespected, a society where the expectation of our existence is that of a work mule and a time when people are looking for us to save them, sis, it is time to put on the cape and save ourselves.

As the big sisters of society, Black women are quick to take on the burden, solve the issues, march in the streets, and carve out care for communities that we aren’t even a part of, but it’s time to carve out care for ourselves. We have been working tirelessly for decades to create a soft life for everyone around us while failing to remember that we are worthy of that same life ourselves.

At this point especially during a season as vicious and as heavy as election season can be, self-care can no longer be viewed as a luxury, but a matter of survival. While the stress, vitriol, and concern for our future that comes along with election season isn’t the only silent killer of Black women, it is certainly one of our assailants, and long bubble baths and a hot cup of tea won’t save us.

We often look at the simple enjoyments of life and think we are practicing self-care and protecting our peace, but a good Netflix binge won’t fix the fact that being at the intersection of both race and gender carries a heavy burden. There is no shortage of information explaining how the stressors of existing at that intersection can negatively impact Black women, but, according to a study called the intersectionality theory, ”These experiences, as they relate to mental health, place Black women at greater risk of developing posttraumatic stress disorder over their lifetime when compared to White women and make Black women twice as likely to be diagnosed with major depressive disorder, when compared to Black men.”

Black women are beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, and a whole vibe, but it is time to reject the notion that we are strong, strong enough to carry the weight of trying to over excel to prove our worth, strong enough to endure the pain that comes with existing in a society that was never designed to protect us, or strong enough to dull our shine for the sake of other folks feelings.

It’s time to be “strong enough” to prioritize self, set boundaries, and exist unapologetically. While that sounds easier said than done for some of us, and the lack of resources and tools available for Black women specifically can make proper self-care a little more difficult to prioritize, a quick and easy place to start is with the two-letter word….

“NO”.

“NO, I do not have the mental capacity to have this conversation right now”. “NO, I cannot pick up an extra task or workload as that does not align with my work/home life balance”. “NO, I do not want to be in spaces with that person as I don’t feel respected by them, and they do not make me feel valued”. Or even more simply put, “NO”. Often as Black women, we feel that it is our responsibility to let go of our boundaries for the sake of other feelings, but what we don’t realize we are doing is prioritizing their feelings over our wellbeing.

Black women, you were meant for so much more than being the fixers of problems you did not create, the head of movements for communities whom you aren’t a part of, the educators for others about your own trauma, and the saviors at the polls. Your existence is enough, and the prioritization of your boundaries and self-care are just as important as what you bring to society’s table.